Depression Is Not A Side-Effect Of Cancer
by Sachiko Ever After
Summary: One Shot. Gumball has died five days haver his Birthday. Read as you are taken to the state of mind of Carrie on the day of his Funeral. Rated T for Cancer and Character Death. Chapter 2: True Story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Now, This is Carball so any Pennball fans, you may leave or imagine that Carrie is Penny. **

**This is only something I wrote for not being able to finish Chapter 5 of Freak Show because of Homework.**

* * *

><p><strong>Carrie POV<strong>

Gumball died five days after his Thirteenth Birthday.

He had had Cancer for about a year and a half. It always got worse. His Cancer had been made of him. His heart had stopped after falling unconscious for five hours. His heart was made of him too. I tried what I could to make him feel better along with his family, Penny and everyone also in our school. Even Jamie, Tina and Tobias. When he died, it was heart breaking to so many people. I had gotten a phone call from Anais saying what happened, four days earlier. The only time I got to say Goodbye was when I was leaving from his Birthday Party.

This may not be important, but he and I were dating. It started before his cancer. Before his death. He even played a sport like soccer, but did not enjoy doing what he didn't enjoy.

I sat on my bed, wiping away my tears from the devastation of Gumball's death. I had done this before when my cousin died. I went on my laptop that sat on the edge of my bed and typed in the search bar, 'Gumball Watterson'. The first suggestion was a Social Media website. I clicked it and saw the many comments people left on his profile. Some I heard of, but never met, people who spent little time with Gumball, but felt bad for him and his family or his actual friends and family. So many comments about his cancer and death. I wasn't very surprised that he had this much comment, but some of them angered me. I didn't know why, but when I read into my mind even more, I knew why some of these comments were not right. Some comments like these;

'He is most likely playing soccer in heaven. Miss ya, bud.'

This person thinks that Gumball is playing soccer in heaven. Would there even be sport balls in heaven? And this person is someone I don't know so he is possibly some stranger who thinks a dead person is automatically a friends to him.

'He fought a continuous battle against Cancer. You'll be missed.'

It wasn't a continuous battle. Sometimes he gave up or was brought back by motivation.

'Just found out that this guy died. I didn't know him, but sorry man.'

If you do not know him, how would you understand everyone else's pain?

'He went through something bad. Depression. Fuck you, Cancer.'

Don't say 'Fuck You' to cancer. Cancer only wants to be noticed and have some company. It will continue to take company until one lives forever with Cancer. Also, Depression is not bad. It is horrible and terrifying from the state of mind you go through. Depression is a side effect of dying and not cancer. However, Dying is a side effect of Cancer in which Depression is the grandson of Cancer. They still are not the same.

I stopped reading these comments. They hurt me more, but not as much as the friends, families and Gumball himself. I put down my laptop back to the edge of my bed and walked to my closet. I still wore my pajamas too. I opened the wardrobe and looked inside. I found my black dress that is only worn for funerals. It was knee height, a leather collar, no sleeves, but no spaghetti straps. I heard a knock on my room door.

"Carrie? Are you ready to go?"

I wasn't emotionally ready.

"Just a Minute."

Today was Gumball's funeral. My parents and I walked to the car and drove to Elmore's funeral home. Gumball, before, had been planning his funeral (he knew he was going to die) like picking out which grave spot, funeral clothes, the casket and other things. We stepped into the house and walked into a room that was almost filled with people. People from Elmore Junior High, Nicole's job The Rainbow Factory and many others. Gumball's parents were standing next to Gumball's casket with his corpse inside. People lined to hug and apologize to the couple who lost their son. It was my turn. Nicole looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"He very much loved you with all his used-to-be beating heart..."

I could feel the pain in both of these two.

"As did you, his siblings, everyone is Elmore and I." I responded.

I was the last person so they sat down, but I walked up to the casket. Everyone always touched the casket and never the body. Can't blame them. Nobody wants to touch a dead cancer child, thinking it would be disrespectful. I reached into my bag I brought and pulled out a doge or dare dice Gumball gave to me when we were little. I set it down next to his head and above his shoulder. He looked peaceful. I turned to different places and saw no one was watching me. I quickly planted a kiss onto his cheek. I turned and walked down to the seat. I had written an eulogy too. The priest allowed everyone to pray for Gumball. I didn't go to church too much so I tried memorizing. Darwin, then Anais and finally me to speak my eulogy.

"*Sigh* Gumball was... The greatest person you could meet. A perfect personality. A great appearance. Everything about him was the best a man could never strive for. He was such a cheerful and happy person even in his Cancer state. This person spent so much of his life in trying to be the greatest he could ever be when he was already the greatest. Everyone here loved him..."

I continued in so many words that I couldn't remember what I said. Hours later, We went to the burial and I didn't want to see the people lower Gumball in his casket down to his grave. I had to, however. I didn't want to cry in front of people I knew, but it would seem rude for a girlfriend to not cry at her boyfriend's funeral unless he was horrible. Gumball was no where near horrible. So I cried into my mother's shoulder. I hated the world. I hated this life. I didn't know what to think anymore.

.

More hours later, We all went home. I was still crying. In the car ride, on the radio, it played 'Stay with Me' by Sam Smith. Either Gumball wanted me to stay with him or I wanted him to stay with me. No. Us.

At home, I walked up the stairs to my bedroom, not eating anything. I kicked off my shoes and fell down to my bed and landed in a position that made me looked at a photo of Gumball and I. In the photo, it was one of those cliché relationship moments of kissing in the rain. Now were only sniffles and a tear rolling down my cheek.

I grabbed the picture and hugged as I drifted off. When I closed my eyes, the last thing I said before my sleep was,

"I love you, Zachary Gumball Tristopher Watterson."


	2. True Story

**A/N: This is not a real or new chapter for 'Depression Is Not A Side-Effect Of Cancer'. This may not be too important, but I'll tell you this story anyway.**

**.**

**I was one of those friends who always worried for their other friend who was in a relationship. The friend I was worried to, Her name was Misty. Even though we were all Ten to Twelve years old, everyone had a crush on someone or was already in a relationship. I was the only one without ever having a crush so I was like the protective parent who would kick someone's face if they broke my friend's or family's heart.**

**Misty had a boyfriend. His name was Brendon. No, not Brendon from Panic! At The Disco. He was a normal and healthy kid, but Misty was a cancer patient. Like in one review (they mentioned The Fault In Our Stars), She had lung cancer because she had an Uncle who smoked in the house and the smoke got to her too much and gave her cancer. Her lungs would fill up when there was no oxygenation or just at any moment. She even carried her own oxygen tank. That would be one reason why I love The Fault In Our Stars.**

**Misty and Brendon were really happy. I was sure that I didn't have a reason to be worried for them. Besides for Misty. Later on, Brendon as well.**

**Months later after their start in a relationship, Brendon got Cancer. It was very hard to memorize the name of his cancer. Misty cared for him and we (My friends, family, her family and herself) helped them. Days after his birthday of turning Thirteen, He died. It was very devastating for Misty and everyone else who actually knew him and the love between Misty and him.**

**Because of his death, Me and Misty always imaged how we would be in his place. Being lowered into a grave. Sadly, She died of Cancer as well. She was quite the sleeper too. Sleep fights cancer.**

**.**

**Something a lot of people don't understand is what changes in your illness of cancer. You would be brought to the state of confusion, sadness, determination and guilt. Confusion from what to do. Guilt from thinking and believing you are causing pain to the ones you love. Determination from trying to not give up in the illness and to keep positive for you and your family/friends. Sadness from sadness.**

**Again, Depression is not a side-effect to cancer. But dying is to cancer and depression is to dying. Misty and Brendon went through that. I read comments on their death on Social Media. I always wondered if I died in an unnatural way like from old age or eating something, but from a crash, illness, murder or such, I would have those same comments. **

**Misty read The Fault In Our Stars too. She quoted once the saying, "I'm a grenade-" part from Hazel Grace Lancaster. I will always read the same book to remember her. As well as a pin that says, "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations." **

**Goodbye, Readers. **

**I did not mean to break some hearts.**


End file.
